Graduate high school, get into college, study to become a physiologist, graduate, get a good job, get married, have kids, grow old with my husband and live a peaceful perfect life. I had it all down and planned out perfect. Well, that's what I thought. My plan for myself has changed over the years but I've always had some kind of a rough idea, so I was prepared for the next chapters of my life. Become an esthetician, a personal trainer, a health coach I would have what I thought was a set plan and then it would all change and I would have no clue. Why would I go to college for 6 years and then decide that's not even what I wanted to do. I felt lost the closer I got to graduation and the pressure of needing to have it all figured out. I remember freshman year when we had to fill out a sheet of what we wanted to do after high school and take electives according to that. Well at the time I wanted to be an esthetician and I didn't know what classes I was supposed to take at my public high school to help me achieve that? I had to choose random electives and explain what they had to do with esthetician just so that the high school would think that I had some kind of plan. There was just a pressure to have it all figured out. There came a point senior year when I just had no clue, I had ideas circulating in my mind, but I didn't feel like a passion or excitement for any of them. I thought that maybe that's just what life is I was never going to really feel a spark for what I was going into because I didn't know any different. When the Lord spoke to me missions, I did feel an excitement, I felt like maybe this was it because I hadn't felt that spark with anything else. But I did think to myself that it was unrealistic, and I didn't know what missions would even look like. I needed to do something to support myself something that was more realistic and had some kind of a future. As most of you know after lots of prayer and contemplation, I decided to do YWAM which is a 6-month sort of intro to missions' program. I kind of just thought it would be a little gap year before I went to either technical college or college for something different because even after signing up it didn't seem like a realistic long-term plan in any way. Well, a lot can happen in what has now been 4 months with YWAM. Turns out the Lord speaks to you a lot when you spend months just fully focused on him. I think that one of the most important things that I learned is that I can have my whole life planned out but most of the time if we are leaving room for the Lord to direct our lives our plan falls through so all the thought and planning and stressing to have it all figured out wasn't particularly necessary. It says in Jeremiah 10:23 "Lord, I know that people's lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps." and in Proverbs 3:5-6 it says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Stressing to have your life all planned out is the exact opposite of what the Lord wants us to do. All he wants is full surrender and with that he will direct your steps. He does not want us to feel overwhelmed and a heavy pressure to have it all figured out that's just what the rest of the world is telling us to do. Romans 12:2 states "Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will." I believe one of the most difficult things that we can do is fully surrender our plans and our lives as a whole to the Lord. There is always a part of us that wants to have a little hold and control over what we do with our lives. But when we are able to give up the expectations, we have for our lives we're leaving room for the Lord to direct our life fully and what a beautiful thing that is. Multiple times Jesus talks about the importance of surrendering our lives and fully living for Christ. In this I find comfort when someone asks me "What are you doing after _____". I have felt shame and frustration in the past not going to college or having a plan like everyone around me. I am not saying in any way that having plans or ideas for your future is always a bad thing. I still have passions and things that I do want to do in the future, but I believe the most important thing is not to hold onto our own plans too tightly, always leave an open ear for the Lord to redirect you. I'm sure I would have a lot of people disagree with me and say that it is immature to not have a better plan and a confident way to support myself in the future. What I am learning is to let what I've learned reading scriptures to be my comfort and what I rely on. Not letting other people's words get to my heart more than I'm letting the Lords words speak to my heart. I can find confidence and comfort when I feel lost trying to stumble my way through life in surrendering it to the Lord and knowing that he will open doors for me and lead me down the path he has set for me. Over and over again he has done this for me so why would I try to take the reins now? What are you holding onto? What things do you have a hard time giving up control over? Whose words speak louder to you than the Lords? Taking time to analyze the deeper root to the strongholds in your life can help you to break them down. I still have many things that I am still trying to figure out and strongholds I'm fighting but find comfort in what the Lord speaks to you. The future does not have to be a heavy stressful thing over your life. The Lord wants you to find relief in knowing that it's in his hands!
Supporting scriptures:
Matthew 6:33-34
Mark 8:34-35
Galatians 2:20
Matthew 7:21
Proverbs 23:26
Jeremiah 10:23
John 3:30
Luke 14:33
Matthew 11:29
Romans 12:1-2
James 1:22
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