Just take a breath. It's that simple right. In the middle of an anxiety attack you'd think... Just take a breath. It is that easy, but it's not? Why does it not feel that easy? Why does it feel like a fight to get to a place to be able to take a breath. Even in the midst of struggles when you know all you need is to sit with the Lord why is it so hard to get yourself to sit and find rest in the Lord. I ask myself this question all the time. I have a hard time finding rest and taking a breath when I am overwhelmed with things that I feel like I need to handle on my own. Anxiety has been a stronghold that the enemy has been really trying to hold over me and I have found so much freedom in the midst of that through Christ but sometimes when it creeps back in, I try to rely on myself, and it overtakes me. Why I don't lean on the Lord and think that I can handle it better somehow, I don't know. Some kind of a pride or something thinking I can or need to handle it somehow. I don't know why I think this because when I have felt relief and fought past anxiety it was never my own strength but the Lord working in that time. In those times the Lord gave me the ability to take a breath. In and out and I felt peace. I felt like I would be ok, and I wouldn't have to deal with the suffocating feeling that anxiety had over me. When the times come now where I can feel the suffocating feeling coming back, like I can't take a breath, I know that is the enemy. I know it's me not taking the authority the Lord gave me to overcome those anxieties and that feeling. When these times come it feels like I'm back to square 1. Like the freedom given to me is somehow invalidated because anxieties creep in again. This is truly just a lie from the enemy trying to get me to just fall back into my struggles. If I let myself believe that I'm back at square 1 and invalidate all that the Lord has done for me that is what the enemy wants. The enemy wants us to question our authority and if what the Lord has done was really real or if it was just a quick relief and you're gasping for air again. It's like in Genesis 3 all the Devil asked was "“Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”. He made Adam and Eve question what God had said and in this way the enemy tries to slither into our mind and make us question what the Lord has said to us it's been his plan of attack since day 1. He has no authority or truth over us, so he uses lies and tries to get us to question things. Think about it... When you are feeling attacks from the enemy it is truly just lies, he is trying to speak over us, and we need to let the Lord speak his truth louder. A book of the Bible that has helped me in these times is James, even the first chapter just shows how the Lord gives us the ability and strength to persevere hardships. There is so much scripture that you can speak out when you feel like you are gasping for air though. The Lord is a breath of fresh air, and his word is a really good vessel to be able to let the Lord speak that truth over us and breathe life into us. This all still brings me back to the question why is it so hard to just take a breath and rest in the Lord in all of this? I truly think because sometimes it just takes some times and practice to get to a place of full reliance on the Lord when you feel like you're gasping for air. It is possible and there is full freedom but we're also not perfect and we are going to have struggles. We are born with worldly desires and thoughts and feelings and those are stronger than the thoughts and desires that the Lord gives us. With this we have to make the constant choice to choose God and rely on him to give us the strength and the truth over us we need. Luckily the Lord makes this very easy because this is the desire he has for us is to have freedom through him so when we are choosing him he just pouring into us and gives us the breath of relief we may be craving. The suffocating feeling stops. There is a breath of relief and it's in something consistent. It's in a God that is constantly chasing after us and craving relationship with us. So I want to encourage anyone feeling hopeless like there's never going to be a time where they don't feel overwhelmed. There is a timing coming for you to feel that relief and I encourage you to continue speaking truth over your mind and fighting to stay positive. The truth with scripture and Jesus is so much greater and more powerful than any lie or struggle trying to take you down. The Lord is the breath of fresh air we are all craving.
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