As I have talked about in previous blog posts which you can go look at, I have struggled with finding my identity and anxiety. While I was trying to figure out who I was and fill what felt like a gap I made some decisions that were not the best and I got into a dark place for a lot of different reasons. When I hit what felt like my breaking point and I had a realization that everything I was doing was not what I wanted to be I started making efforts to turn everything around. I connected with other believers and that was the big thing that helped me to grow closer to Christ and disconnect with things that were pushing me further from him. I started making efforts to read my bible more, talk to Jesus more, go to church and find more ways to get connected. With all of these efforts and God working through friends I found a church where I felt at home with friends that have helped me to grow closer to Christ. Learning to get over barriers while trusting in Christ and asking him to help give me the strength and peace to do things I didn't think I could has given me encouragement and helped me grow closer to him seeing the amazing ways he is changing my life and feelings. I can say that I have been a Christian my whole life, but I cannot say that I have had this kind of relationship with Christ one that I couldn't fathom having or understand before all the ways he has working in my life. I just want to say and encourage you to talk to Christ whenever and wherever you can because including Christ in all my decisions, thoughts, conversations, just putting him at the center of everything had brought me so much comfort. I used to think that being a Christian was just believing in Christ, going to church and reading my Bible but since I realized that having a relationship with Christ is possible and just rooting him in the middle of everything and talking to him all the time, I have never felt so much comfort and joy. I used to feel so alone, be filled with anxiety in most of the things I did but since I have been asking him to bring me peace when those feelings come up, he has provided that, and I am so grateful for that. The main thing that I wanted to share is the difference that I have found between having a relationship with Christ and me not actively pursuing that. I don't think there is anything wrong with just being a Christian the thing for me is that I have this huge desire to help other people find the joy I have with actively pursuing and rooting all my decisions on Christ. It takes time and figuring out like everything can at the start, but it is so so worth it! I just want to encourage you to start having conversations with Christ in your head whenever you're sitting in silence and talk to him like a friend and see where that takes you!
