As many people do, I have struggled immensely with trying to find my identity and figuring out where I belong. In high school I feel like it gets difficult at least it did for me to try and make friends and figure out where I belonged and what kind of a person I wanted to be. I have always been pretty outgoing, and I love making friends and connecting with others but figuring out how to do that in a world where peoples main source of connections is through social media can get challenging at times. I went to Yelm High School fully freshman year and it was an alright year for me, but I still felt kind of empty and alone a lot of times. This was difficult for me because I am such an extrovert feeling like I didn't fit in and didn't have friends really took a toll on my mental health. I was involved in a youth group and was going to church, but I wouldn't say I really had much of a relationship with Christ. Sophomore year I was a nanny and had just started working at shiplap and was doing online school it was just a year of feeling pretty bleh all the time and navigating my way through working and life in general. Junior year rolled around and covid hit and things got rough for everyone. I started doing running start which I actually enjoyed a lot more than my other online school, but I felt like everyone was so disconnected with quarantine that everyone was struggling with feeling alone a lot of the time. I am now a senior and I would say this year was really the year I struggled the most and tried so hard to feel like I fit in and had friends. In the beginning of the year till now I have crossed between a few different friend groups and made a lot of decisions I am not proud of trying to figure out who I was and what kind of people I wanted to surround myself with. I am grateful for all the people in my life at those times and think everything happened for a reason, but I was really just trying to fill an unfillable void. I have some amazing friendships that I have made and maintained and friends that I am no longer as close with but still grateful for the memories we have together. But that emptiness that I was feeling and no longer feel was my yearning for a relationship and connection with Christ. Once I hit my lowest point in my searching for identity and had a big wakeup call, I started actively pursuing a relationship with Christ and now I have found a joy like no other and I feel content and not lost anymore. I can now say my identity is fully in the fact that I am a child of God! And I have seen him provide in so many ways in my life recently and I am so happy I am growing and learning to fully trust in him and live through the spirt of life. Finding your identity through Christ can be a challenge but once you start to dig into your Bible and pray and try to really trust in him to figure that out it is all so worth it!
